I've a good friend who definitely fits the definition of AFC. In his mid twenties, he's nevertheless a virgin, after kissed a girl (one of his proudest stories), and always moans about how women"always go for the douchebags who don't care for them". But by far and away the largest thing which marks him out as a AFC to me is the fact that he feels continuously compelled to defend women in conditions where they are not receiving any insult or danger. We predict the need to'defend' women white knight syndrome, and regrettably, I tend to meet a lot of white knights.
Once I flirt, I tend to keep my discussions hard for both parties; being accepting and jokingly insulting in equal amount. This, one evening, saw me call a woman a"drunk bitch" because she dropped over and slurred her voice (that this type of language was by no way different from the way her and me talked to each other). My friend, misguided as he was, felt compelled to stand up and say all in the area"Now [my title ]! That is a very rude thing to say for her!" . Everyone went quiet and looked at him for an instant, until the girl on the ground thankfully broke the silence instead beautifully by crying"Yeah [my title ] do not be a whore!" . Normality restored. Following the party I took my buddy aside and explained to him what he had been doing wrong and why it made women think that he was weird. So here is a short form of the white knight talk.
1.
It's Sexist
Our ideas of knighthood and chivalry are derived from an era where men were infinitely stronger than women, and consequently chivalry encouraged men to help those who weren't in control of their own lives. By jumping in to defend a woman's'honor' now (especially without asking her), you're making the assumption that she can't help herself.
2.
It's Creepy
Would you know who the two biggest groups of people in the world who concerned with women's honor are? The very spiritual, and also the'nice guys'. Incidentally neither of these groups get a lot of action outside of wedlock. By obsessing over the website standing or battles (perceived or actual ) of a woman who is not your friend or lover, you are showing an extremely suggestive interest in her. Be a man and show your attention .
3.
It Is Your Problem
If you're bravely leaping to the aid of some damsel, you almost definitely have not stopped to think about whether she discovers it to be a problem. To intervene would be to enforce your self on her, as you do not know if she discovers what was stated offensive. In fact all it really does is inform everybody that you are uncomfortable with the word'bitch' (for example).
In this postmodern, cynical age, no one stands up and directly up calls people out on their defects in front of others. If you're a PUA worth anything, then you may at some point have had to fend of men on behalf of women you are out clubbing with. If you aren't an idiot, you don't do this by standing up and stating to the interloper"Look guy, your presence is making this woman feel uncomfortable and she is not interested in you." Even when you are right in stating something like this, you can certainly do it with more class and much more subtlety. For instance (going back to the my white knight experience) you can simply say over the shoulder something along the lines of"Can you kiss your mom with that mouth?" And then move the conversation on. Try and be slick men.
What to do
These 3 attitude changes should enable you to steer clear of white knight behavior.
1.
Like the Player
Among the first things that you should do is to listen to what men say to girls and try to work out whether it's a misguided effort at being emotional genius. Even if it's against your friend or spouse, good game is good match, and you can find out a lot from observing prior to acting. If a man says something that amuses your inner white knight, pause. The first thing that you need to do is to give him respect for trying to say something that risks a negative response. That's something which the vast majority of the social cattle around you'll never attempt in their lifetime.
2.
Be Edgy Exercise adding a bit of spice into your conversations: all you have to do is ask why someone thinks something, or disagree with them on a minor point, that's usually sufficient to generate a little pleasurable friction. Come to enjoy that look on a woman's face when she's snapped out of automatic conversation mode since you didn't stick to the standard pattern of considerate arrangement. A dialog is so much nicer when both parties have to consider what they're saying. Like the Women
Ultimately you have to realize that women are (deservedly) in charge of their own lives, and that it has taken a long time to get there. This is the very best thing that could have occurred to the relationship game, as it make men just like you and I become better individuals so that we are attractive to girls (as opposed to back in the day when women were considered as discussing property, you didn't need to be a terrific man back then). You need to play these rules and accept that it is all up to the woman whether to be offended or not, and to choose if your help is necessary. Concentrate on your own game buddy.